it's so hard.
it's so damn hard.
it's frustratingly fucking hard.
BAAAAH! waaaaaaaaaah... sniff, sniff.
that was the gist of my internal dialogue last night while I [chose to] suffer through some physical discomforts. my mind had decided that I was the bearer of disturbance after disturbance and went into woe-as-me mode.
and then I found these words:
Life Herself does not need a gleaming Future to arrive so it can stop struggling. Right Here, Right Now, is a Perfect Moment: She has all She needs. Things may not be perfect but She can make them seem so: She is infinitely resourceful and can make the Best of any situation. If the Earth is seeking Rest, if She is "groaning for the Adoption of the Body" (and I do believe that She is), She does not seem to have any preconditions on how long She is willing to wait or how hard She is willing to Struggle. She carries on, she endures - and all the while She seems to do so joyfully, without making it seem like a Burden at all.
well shit. I was having a fun little self-consumed pity party, forgetting that the sea refuses no river. trees don't fucking yell at the wind for changing the air space they occupy! chipmunks don't bitch about the changing seasons! the moon doesn't cry because she's moved into darkness!
creatures of nature adapt. they improvise. they overcome. they repeat.
WE are creatures of nature. we ARE nature. we are LIFE.
a good friend/sister/teacher shared with me a deal she has made with herself:
dedicate this year to moving into your heart.
at all times. make it your one consistent task.
it's silly how many times I've heard some semblance of the statement 'move into your heart' in my life as dani, and yet it's a phrase that cannot be said enough. a gentle reminder, a soft nudging, a comforting hug that brings me back to center... this request is the easiest thing to do, and yet often most tricky to make the constant in the teeter-totter of my life.
well, let's not get hard on ourselves, eh? creating the new normal is no tedious task. we humans are rewiring all 'norms' that may have 'worked' at previous moments to be more suitable for the NOW. and we're not just placed with that task for our own re-booting. the individual is affected by the whole, and if years and years and years of moving away from the heart has been the 'norm' for many folk, we individuals could bear that in mind when faced with situations that make us want to kick and scream or point fingers and react from a place of pride and fear.
all is well. all is perfect. let's love these parts of us, too.
I am currently unemployed, by choice. I sleep in if I'm feeling comfy, spend an entire day devoted to food making if I choose, wander aimlessly through canyons and neighborhoods, leave town when I get the itch, dance when I want, cry when I feel. and I'm joyous about all of those things. in a world that seems to place such reverence on DOING, I'm learning to just BE. there is no 'time' for me to worry about what I should be doing, who I'm supposed to be by now, where I should be giving my energy... a lot of those shoulds and shouldn'ts stem right on from the perpetuated societal thought that we need to find security outside of ourselves -- which is a belief rooted in fear. I'm just gonna uproot that seed right now and fill the void with Heart. I have extra (metaphorical) shovels if anyone else would like to do some digging. *I hear if we sprinkle the soil with Gratitude and Appreciation, Loving Abundance will overflow.*
all things can easily change in an instant (my emotions certainly do). right now, I am in Love with my Self, I am in Love with Life, I am in Love with the reality I have created. my task is not to navigate the waters as though I have control over the sea. my task is to move into my Heart and surrender to its purring, to leisurely Flow down Life's river, to hold reverence for whatever is, to adapt, improvise and overcome whatever I am faced with.
'these are magical times. focus on the miracles... focus on the new and let everything else drop away. you have the choice to make it an easy transition just by staying in your heart.'
-- and that's where it all begins <3